1. I am completely and utterly addicted to natural ice chapstick and I have been since about 4th grade. It gets so bad that if I don’t have any, I will have to go to the store to buy more. Sometimes I fall asleep with them in my hand and its a death grip! I honestly don’t know what I would do if they went out of business.
2. I am claustrophobic due to the fact that one year in high school I decided to get into my locker and my “friends” thought it would be cool to shut the door and it got jammed. Horrific!
3. I can flare my nostrils so big that a nickel fits in sideways. I did it once in college, but don’t ask me to do it again cuz it was scary!
4. I am the biggest pack rat. Everything is a memory. I still have notes that people wrote to me in middle school!
5. I have auditioned to be on show the amazing race. Of course me and my friend didn’t make it, but we sure had good time acting out our little song and skit in our sports bras and soccer socks. hahaha
6. If I’m bored and have nothing else to do I’ll crank up my favorite dance song and let loose in my bedroom. I am unaware as to whether my roomates know about this, but I’m sure at this point they already assume I’m nuts so they’re used to it.
7. I am lobeless. I think it looks strange when I wear earrings because theres isn’t anything for them to hang on to. Is there such a thing as a lobe transplant?
8. Little babies scare the bajeesus out of me. I’m worried if I ever have one (when I find a good sperm donor that is) that I’m going to trip down some stairs and crack its head open. And don’t even get me started on childbirth! Ughh… adoption?
9. I am OCD about my hair. I’m always touching it, twirling it, messing with it. Any of you that have the frizzy/wavy/ insane mess that I do understand right? I dunno. My mom said when I was little I pulled all my dolls hair out of its head! I guess it’s something I’ve always done. LOL
10. I have a sick obsession with monkeys. I don’t know what it is. My theory is that I am part monkey and I feel at home with them. That might explain the hair obsession. (see#9)
11. I am OBSESSED with Lady Gaga
12. I have the funniest looking thumb you’ve ever seen in your life… but it’s a sign of royalty bitch!
13. I can hold a cup of water on my booty.
14. I slept in the street, just like a hobo. It was in europe so its ok though right?
15. I love whip cream. When I was little my grandma caught me eating a tub of cool whip underneath the kitchen table. Good times.
16. I have been kicked out of a taxi cab. (not my fault might I add)
17. When I first moved to Willamina in 5th grade nobody liked me because I smiled too much.
18. Thus far, I have not met one person who is as much of a liteweight when it comes to drinking as myself. At house parties it is really quite frustrating because I always pass out when everyone else starts getting drunk! In fact, I have strong reactions to caffeine as well. If I drink a cup of Mountain dew I am crawling up walls and energy drinks make me feel drunk and anxious. Odd.
19. I have a huge fear of public speaking. I believe it developed in college when I was discussing phermones and I said sex instead of secrete. Woops!
20. I am a typical Taurus..the nicest person in the world unless you anger me, and then the bull comes out! Let this be a lesson to all of you:)
21. I’ve always had this secret desire to be in the Guiness Book of World Records. I can’t decide what I want to hold a record for though. Any suggestions?
22. I haven’t always been a social butterfly. I was a lot more shy up until high school, and then the butterfly awakened!
23. I can’t catch a softball to save my life. I’ve never even caught a pop fly!
24. I can’t burp. Occasionally I will do it on accident but I have no idea how to do it on purpose.
25. I have never broken a bone in my body. Where’s the wood?
Obnoxious rants from a cynical idealist 
Aug 18, 2011 @ 01:08:34
Number 1 is pretty much how you introduced yourself to me! Cracking me up. lol.