The Little Things

I was spending quality time with my father the other day who has been diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) for about a year now.  As some of you may know, ALS is a debilitating disease with no cure, which really changes the dynamic of any relationship, but particularly does for my father and I.  Our relationship has been somewhat of a rollercoaster over the course of my life. To put it briefly, I haven’t had a very close relationship with him since my parents split when I was 12, if any relationship at all. I mean, I saw him on occasion for birthdays and holidays and whatnot, but I can’t remember the last time I had a one-on-one conversation with my father about anything.  Over the course of this year,  while I have been desperately trying to make up lost time from my adolescence,  I had something of an AHA! moment.  It is the little things in life that I remember most about my father and I will cherish those moments beyond his passing.

I reminisce about the days he used to cook my brother and I scrambled eggs and blueberry muffins EVERY time we saw him on the weekends.; the days we would go to Dairy Queen after school and just spend time shooting the breeze and being in each others presence were amazing.  I have fond memories of my dad letting me drive his truck on the back roads when I was a mere 13 or so.  And then there were the days he would tell me to get all dressed up and take me out to a scenic location and be his “model” for his amateur photography shoots.  🙂  The point here is, even though our relationship was not one of the closest, I love him dearly for the little things he did to show me he cared, and those my friends, are the things that will stick in my mind forever.

I am not writing this as a means to gather sympathy from anyone, (although I am sure my stubborn self would appreciate it) but I do hope to inspire you to  reach out to your loved one and make an impact on their life. Make traditions. Build a rapport.  Nurture your relationships so that they grow as they are supposed to.  Give hugs. I think people dont do that nearly enough these days.  In short, make memories that both you and them will never forget, because memories are what bring us closer and carry with us beyond the physical life.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Esther
    Oct 14, 2009 @ 13:50:08

    Hey Boobi… oops, I mean Bobbi. haha

    I love reading your writing, you are an excellent writer, and ought to be, you spent some time on perfecting that. I think that you are right, it is all about memories that you build with each other, not about the way you have felt about the relationship in the past. Once the forgiveness is there, and the understanding, you get past the negative thoughts and start to focus on the positive. Maybe it is not always the deep conversations that you didn’t have, but rather, the time that you did.

    Best of luck with all of this — I have been thinking of you.

    ~ Esther ~

    Reply

  2. Rachel
    Oct 14, 2009 @ 14:47:05

    I don’t think I’ve ever expressed it to you or your dad, but when he used to take me along for those DQ trips in the summer, it meant a lot to me! I think it really shows how great of a person he is. He could have had me go down to grandma’s house while he was out spending time with HIS kids, but instead he always invited me along. I felt special! 🙂 Especially since I didn’t really have a relationship with my own father either.

    You have a perfect outlook Bobbi. Cherish the memories you can create with your father and hold onto the ones you have from the past. I’m surprised you can remember so much with a sucky memory like yours. 🙂 🙂

    Reply

  3. Sarah Harey
    Oct 20, 2009 @ 02:33:43

    This is a great reminder to us all Bobbi. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart and soul. Inspirational for sure!!

    Reply

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