Single state of mind

Why oh why? Every where I look there are happy people in love. They frollick and fondle and enjoy each other’s company. They hug and kiss and stare and look longingly into each other’s eyes. Seriously, why do I suddenly feel like the ONLY single woman left in the world?   This person is married. That person is getting married. They have a baby on the way.  Oh great, “I am so happy for you” I say, when in reality I think.. well there goes another friend I will see once in a blue moon.  Basically, what you’re saying is, you’ll make time for me when you aren’t busy romping around in the sheets or spending time with that person. Thanks.  Is there anyone left out there that I can go dancing with? PLEASE!

Don’t get me wrong.   I know what it’s like. I’ve been there before, and I was once there for 8 years, yet I still made time for my friends, or maybe I just think I did and was actually treating my friends in the same manner.  Why do we forget? Why do we so easily fall for someone and forget about the people who have been there for us through all of the heartbreak? I guess we all want that fairytale happy ending and along the course of finding the perfect ending we only have enough time to devote to so many people.  Am I jealous?? You bet I am. I want that again. I want to have someone. I want someone to ask me how my day was everyday, and actually care to the point that it affects them.  I want someone that instantly puts  a smile on my face, even when they’re not trying.

But while my mind wants to be coupled up, my heart is living in a single state of mind.  It does not want to endure anything that may come close to heartache, so it chooses not to open at all. It’s in this grey fuzzy area, that can’t quite seem to choose one side or the other, so it just sits and remains in lockdown.  Heartwrenching it is, but that is the case. So here I rest, until something can make me choose a side and actually love it for what it’s worth. If anything, I hope this blog made someone out there decide to ditch the man for one night and take your single gal pals out for a night of fun.

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