A crossroad

There have been some occurrences in my life recently that have made me question my behavioral patterns in relationships. Most of my life I have been attracted to a particular type of guy, and in most cases, they require a bit of a challenge.  Well, after  reading one self-help book after the other, and counseling myself in order to pinpoint the source of these often addictive men I’ve come to the conclusion that these choices are not by accident and I’m just as fucked up as they are and this is a self-destructive behavior that will lead me to being a lonley old maid in my rocking chair telling stories of all the men I was able to convince love me, but was never able to fully reach my own potential because I was so concerned about THEM and their psychological problems.   The worst part of all of this?? I truly thought I was a half way normal person (where would I get that idea right?) and they were the ones who needed therapy.

The good news is, I am ready to take the steps toward recovering from these ingrained patterns and false sense of security and love.  I am no longer going to settle for less than what I rightfully deserve. I owe it to myself.  However, I am aware that I am in the process of reversing 27 years of thinking. It will be a lengthy process that will require serious tenacity and a commitment to myself to be a better person.

Along with this I am going to have to ask for my friends to be patient with me and understand that there are moments when I will have to escape into Bobbis World and close my blinds to the rest of the world.  Please check in on me once in a while and make sure that on my journey to self-discovery I have not gone completely mad.  It is my hope to return with a renewed sense of self that will allow me to be attracted to the men who deserve my love. Bring on the white pony!

I love you all.  Thanks for your support!

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